reaching his sexy hand through the ether...

um yeah. THIS was in my mail this morning and I about peed my pants. I really didn't think he would write the poor BFA costume fangrls back but he did. his lovely assistant Melanie even put a little note in about how busy he was but took the time to sign it before he left for New York (right before you saw him Katie~) big lusting sigh. I know I say it a bunch but Alan Rickman fixes everything. I was completely down and in a funk but this shook me out of it. just a pic from my dream man did the trick. now I can fix any flaw in my ms, deal with any hiccup at work, battle the admin demons at school or whatever fate throws in front of me because dun dun dun!!!! I've got a pic of him!!!!!

yeah buddy

I think this is so funny. probably because I enjoy being so awesome. sad thing is that most people fail to appreciate the degree of my awesomeness.they seem to see it far too late but that's okay. I know I'm pretty freakin awesome. just not in the snotty way.
one thing I am feeling less than awesome about is my ms. I am working hard on it but sometimes I feel sort of hopeless. I feel like I am the only one who sees the uniqueness of it. that worries me. it's probably just a temporary feel ing but sometimes it sucks. and not in the cool vampire way.

merry christmas to all and to all a good night!

this is funny to me. I so adore Bela. anyway...I am taking a break from cooking my christmas eve meal of homemade spaghetti. not very traditional I know but Maddy's daddy is here and he loves my sauce and since he is italian, that's quite a compliment. tomorrow night is our big dinner. either way, it will be lovely because family is together again(albeit a nontraditional family).
speaking of nontraditional, I am thinking of my fictional vampire family.well not my family but Sidney's. I was thinking about how his life paraelles many stories. in a way his is a story of almost redemption. or the short vampire version. he has to change his ways to thrive and become more powerful. otherwise he would just stagnate. he has to realize that just because you are the oldest  active vampire on earth, it doesn't mean that you are perfect. he has to re embrace his role as a vampire and at the same time come to terms that vampires and people are not always what he expects or wants. this is all a tall order and I think makes him a compelling character. it's hard enough to adjust to changing times and people. imagine if you were a lonely, thousand year old vampire.
anyway, merry christmas to everyone out there!!I hope it's magical for all!!

and now...gaze in wonderment at Sam Neill. YUM

so here you go! just take a gander at him.mmmmm. made of awesome much like Tim Tebow but with as much sex appeal to slap the taste out of your mouth Sam Neill. with the upcoming Daybreakers movie, I have been reminded just how awesome he is.he's sexy and delish on multiple levels. he can be a good guy(Dead Calm and Jurassic Park) or he can be the devil (The Final Conflict) and either way, he just makes the panties want to come off. I have been a  fan of his since I saw him in Reilly Ace of Spies in 1983. I named my boxer dog Reilly and around that time, I started writing a form of Primigenio and named my vampire Sidney. (yeah, it's been that long) tastiness aside, he is a remarkable actor and person. he even has his own winery in New Zealand.
this is why I just adore looking at this man. he, like my other dream man AR, is a thinking woman's sex symbol. you just want to be around him. you know that he has something brilliant to say. and when he isn't around you know he is off doing something awesome or maybe even just chillin drinking wine.(that he MADE) he inspires revisions in my ms !

go check out brilliant Katie's clip of AR on her AWESOME blog!!!!

http://oneschemeofhappiness.typepad.com/home/2009/12/alan-rickman-talk-about-die-hard-while-i-watch-bad-harry.html

dude, Dr Kaku says it's possible to build a death star!!

so I'm watching sci fi science with the awesome brilliant Dr Michio Kaku and he says that within 100 years it will be totally possible to build a death star. sweet! now he's saying teleportation may be possible as well. now there is just no way that I can understand this but I think it's fascinating. if I won the lotto, I would pay just to sit and listen to Dr Kaku talk about all of his brilliant ideas. anyone who breaks science down to examples with hot dogs and legos is cool. 

holy crap this is trippy music

okay so I was taking a break from finishing 20 pairs of bow flip flops for a local jr high dance squad and I turned on the AMAZING Hearts of Space on satellite radio. anyway, tonight's show was when space met rock featuring a slew of awesome music by Pink Floyd, King Crimson  and others in that vein.  needless to say, I am now completely mellow. I feel like I should have candles burning and be riding on the wave of some substance that might or might not alter ones perceptions.lol. not that I would know anything about that sort of thing. anyway, my point of this is when I hear music like this and can appreciate it's influence on my  mood or outlook, I have to stand back in awe. I love music but seldom realize it's intense power. sometimes I wish I could just walk around with my ipod on all the time. or at least have it handy when I am stressed or angry. music for me can be like therapy. it's magic.

cue crescendoing music in anticipation for...Sam Neill as a vampire!!!!SQUEE!

so today,early, I saw a trailer for the new movie, Daybreakers with one of my favorite actors...Sam Neill. when I saw this, I was like was that really my man Sam? could he really be playing...a vampire?!?! HECK YES he can be playing a vampire. I've already marked my calendar and made this picture my wallpaper to further inspire me while I do my edits. Yum. an awesome, expensive suit wearing, corporate villain vampire in the flesh. I swear this is like a Christmas gift!I won't get it until january 8th but that's a okay.
this variety of vampire is infinitely sexier than others I've seen recently with the exception of the Alexander Skarsgard as Eric Northman on True Blood. A close second behind him is Frank Langella as Dracula with Richard  Roxburgh as Dracula rounding out the list. I just KNOW that Sam Neill is going to make my vamp loving heart melt and me go squee!

and now a break from reality for a search for enlightenment

 "If those who lead you say to you, 'See, the kingdom is in the sky,' then the birds of the sky will precede you. If they say to you, 'It is in the sea,' then the fish will precede you. Rather, the kingdom is inside of you, and it is outside of you. When you come to know yourselves, then you will become known, and you will realize that it is you who are the sons of the living father. But if you will not know yourselves, you dwell in poverty and it is you who are that poverty."

 not much to add to this.Yesterday, I was given an excellent opportunity for self knowledge and learning and I am taking it. My own tabula rasa. Awesome.

worrying about a vampire becoming self actualized

I'm worried about what a vampire would be like if he were more self aware in the icky human way. yes this is a strange thing to worry about but as my mc becomes more aware of his behavior, he might become a bit of a weenie. more than likely he'll just be sweet around his honey and maybe his offspring but I still worry. no one would dig a weenie vampire.
as for the pic of Jason Isaacs... he's just awesome so I thought I'd put him up there. he'd be a good vampire. wait what am I saying? he'd be a kick ass vampire.

dr kulikowski and my fear of looking like an idiot

so I'm sitting here using my time for other things. this is another way to say frittering my time away. I'm watching a docu on the history channel about the dark ages and having lusty thoughts about one of the historical experts. how sad is that? but he is a perfect example of a nerd-hottie. I know nothing of the man except he is a genius in late antiquity mediterranean and early medieval history and has that delightfully yummy nerdy quality to him. oh and he has a british accent so yeah, he's all good. gay, straight or whatever he's awesome like a hundred billion hotdogs. the most awesome thing is his mind. brilliant. I love listening to him and ordered his books from amazon today. I would probably never be able to keep up in one of his classes. he's just too brilliant and I would hate to look like an idiot.
karma and kudos for you dr kulikowski! you are massively brilliant and I hope my instructors are just as brilliant but I doubt it.

the nutcracker, six degrees of seperation and Alan Rickman

so my grinchiness is melting as I watch the Royal Ballet production of the Nutcracker and drink smart hot cocoa. smart as in spiked with kahlua. anyway, I love anything from ROC and it makes me very happy. it's like a six degrees of seperation thing. Nutcracker is to ballet is to ROC is to London is to RADA is to Alan Rickman. ahhhh. man that was awesome. almost cosmic.LOL.
I'm also still working on my manuscript revisions. they are getting easier now that I am getting a feel for colette. still waiting for feedback from super editor.

death and the grinch

yeah, I almost died to death today at the hands of a speeding budweiser truck. it was almost a flashback of my accident 10 years ago. today was different because my mom and daughter were in the car. damn. yay for close calls.
I'm still feeling grinchy and don't know why. I feel like the uber grinch. I need some excitement or something interesting to shake me out of my grinch groove.

the end of an era

I've been sad this week. today was the peak of my sadness. my beloved gators lost. I'm sad about that because it is the end of Tim Tebow's career as a gator. Timmy is a true epic human being. he is everything thing he says he is. he gives his all for his school, his team, his family and his faith and to me that is magical in these days and times. so many people are using the gator's loss to shred Tim and denounce him as being a fake and declare themselves gator haters. this is just a sad day for people and sports. I would not want to take delight in kicking someone when they were down. I don't want to be proud to be a hater of anything. I certainly am not going to laugh at a 22 year kid who is emotional and not afraid to show it. I'm proud that he believes that a man afraid to cry is not a man. so this is the end of the tebow era at UF. it's just one end that I am dealing with. sometimes change is very sad. both of the changes I am sad about are good things for the people. I'm overjoyed for that.
Good luck Timmy!You are my hero!Good luck to the other. Nerds rock!

turd in the punchbowl

so a beta who was reading my manuscript today told me that I should cut the 1st 150 pages and that she wasn't connecting emotionally with my MC. I about shit. seriously. this was the first time I had ever gotten a crit like that. not from the agents who have read it or super editor so I was a bit put out. it got to me big time. I know my betas are supposed to be honest but she was the first who basically said it sucked. just about everyone has found stuff that they liked but she said it was a turd in the punchbowl. I disagree. I know there are flaws and I'm working to fix them with super editor. cutting the first 150 pages has never been suggested or hinted at. that's almost a third of the ms and would leave gaping holes which the beta suggested that I trade for the characters and action in the last half. my minor cosmetic surgeries that I have been performing under super editors direction apparently needed to be amputations of the nuclear level.
deep breath...it's just one beta. don't over react. my vampires are fine. what would Alan Rickman do?