Somewhere about a year and a half ago, I lost my voice. Not my actual speaking voice because that's been going strong ever since. But instead I lost my writing voice, which to me is as important as my speaking voice because it took away a ginormous piece of me.
Now this loss wasn't from unknown reasons. I have had a rough time. My father passed away, I was still getting used to married life, I switched jobs to an albeit super stressful but more rewarding job. Along with all this my writing voice vanished. I just didn't have it. Of course it made me even more depressed than I already was. So I pretty much gave up. Gave up my novel writing and my blog.
But lately I felt the scratchiness of a healing voice. I also felt the desire to write which had long since been absent. And that made me happy and gave me something to look forward to. It's one thing I can do for me. It doesn't require anyone else. It doesn't cost anything and I can do it anywhere and any time. But mainly it's for me. It's something good for me.
So I'm back. My crazy life hasn't changed much. Although I have a husband now, another boxer dog making two, and a cat. And a teenager. I don't know who is more challenging but I'm sure you'll hear about how I try and deal with them.
it's 3:30 and I'm still awake. I tried to go to bed at a normal hour. I took my medicine, turned on my thunderstorm music and went to sleep. but about 2 hours later I awoke shivering and WIDE awake, which was no good. and I show no signs of falling back asleep. it just might be one of those nights where my brain won't shut off enough to go to sleep. I have had so much on my mind lately it is amazing that I sleep at all. and through all this I can't write. my characters are drowned out by all that is on my mind.
we did a cleansing of our house tonight(yes we have one of those houses again) and i'm wondering if that is what is keeping me up. you would think that would be excellent source material for a story, any story but I got nothing. YIKES. insomnia is the worst.
Oh and PS congrats to all my friends who are NaNoWriMo winners. my invisible hat is off to you for cranking out the words. and if you didn't win, you still got words down so good for you too!
As a writer,sometimes it is quite difficult to find the emotions to write certain scenes. most of the time we pull from real life. I know I have several times. but lately while struggling through writing the third installment of The Primigenio Tales, I have discovered that I've had to scratch the surface on some old wounds. fortunately this scratching has yielded the perfect emotions for writing difficult scenes and plotting painful issues between characters. one thing I often rely on is music because it triggers emotions and memories. the other day this song came up on my iPod. 945 songs and this came up and it tore at me. now granted I'm already feeling pretty fragile with things around here but this song kicked me while I was down and the words just poured out while the feeling was fresh. I love this song and for the longest time I thought it had been written for me and my life. fortunately I found it wasn't but it still provided the inspiration to write. it's an old song from way back in the day when I was a young Kappa Delta with a broken heart. and it kept popping back into my life with the source of my heartbreak. :( but now it is just a song that gives me inspiration to write emotionally difficult scenes. have a listen. and enjoy the nod back to 80s fashion.
today is Halloween which is like Christmas for me. I love it. So much so that today Scott and I are getting married. It just makes sense. So it got me to thinking about the victorian tradition of on Hallloween at the stroke of midnight, if a single girl looked into a mirror the face of her true love would be reflected back. What an awesome tradition. It didn't take me looking in a mirror on Halloween to know I found my true love in Scott.He is the one. We fit and make sense. So that will be my forever Halloween treat. Joining with the love of my life in marriage.
so Scott and I were featured authors at Spooky Empire, a Horror Con held in Orlando each October. it was a great time to meet fans and celebs like Jason "Jay" Mewes (of Silent Bob and Jay fame...Snoogins!). it was also super to sit on panels about writing and talk about writing to other authors and people trying to get published. I was among some fantastic authors like Alicia Sams, Jonathan Maberry and Mitch Hyman, all who write either horror or paranormal fiction. Scott and I love talking to writers who are just getting started or are bestsellers like Maberry. it's incredible to reach out to help frustrated writers who are still in the unpubbed stage. I especially like to do this because even though my second book has been published, I still consider myself a new author and remember the frustration of rejections and the whole deal of creating the most awesome query letter in the universe so it will catch an editor or agent's eye. anyway, we had a great time at Spooky and will definitely be back to do Spooky Mayhem in May and Empire next October to see the friends we made and hopefully make more!