yay serotonin!!

I have a tshirt from the awesome cloth moth clothing with that written on it. I have just about worn it out.the neck is worn out. I just love the whole idea of it. actually I love serotonin. today I needed a huge dose of it because my effexor just wasn't keeping it flowing in my brain. damn chemicals!
today I took my daughter to meet her teacher and I felt like I was going to the last choice sorority on bid day. that sounds ridiculous but I think I was more disappointed than she was. I knew the other mothers were with their happy kids who got their first choice for teacher. however my child didn't make it to the pref of her choice and get a bid from the house of her choice. she is too young to understand and see that but I do. maybe I am putting too much into social relationships or whatever but I still do not understand how classes were chosen and how some kids got their choices and mine didn't. now she is stuck in a class with kids she doesn't know that well and all of her friends are in another class. it's like the 2000 election all over again. I wanted al gore and got stuck with that other guy.

overwriting leads to overreaction

well, true to my over reacting nature my ability to I am questioning my ability to write. I made the mistake of reading some more critiques and immediately wanted to shred my manuscript and start over. this apparently not sane thinking. super editor told me as much. after taking a step back, I agree. I have got to stop flipping out and listening to only those who matter and not every other person who thinks that their opinion is golden. the old saying opinions are like ass holes is oh so true. some just like showing their's more than others.

me and my bubble

I wish sometimes that I lived in a bubble and was immune from criticism and downright meaness.
this is all in relation to my novel. or at least on one site where I have 250 words posted. deep cleansing breath in...blow it out... and refocus. this does not apply to authonomy where I get lots of awesome feedback and critiques. I'm not saying that I want everything sugar coated. I simply want honest and constructive criticism. there is a difference. I realize writing is a big business and not everyone is nice. I am fully prepared for their opinions and feedback. I am no stranger to it. I am a costumer. criticism and rejection is like mother's milk.
on a lighter note, maddy and I baked a peach pie. it was awesome. the baking part. I didn't eat any of the pie. we baked it for my mom. she said it was delish though.

how can this be so sexy?I"M DYIN!!!

OH MA GAWD! I was surfing the fangirl sites browsing for whatever when I came across this. I actually meowed when I saw this and took it all in.literally. almost had to take a break. so many filthy, yummy thoughts ran through my mind. I will never look at a field fence pole the same way. I thought, I'm just about that height. I wish it was me. sigh.

UF bat house collapses, thousands left homeless

UF bat house collapses, thousands left homeless

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but I don't want Tim Tebow to see me naked

yesterday I took my friend /daughter back to school because she didn't have a ride back. I felt so bad for her because she is so sweet and funny. ooohhhhh and SHY! anywho, she is back in her dorm and ready to begin another fun filled year in the theatre department.
when I talk to my YOUNG class mates I sometimes realize the huge age difference between us. I really could be their mom. fortunately for me I seem to be crazy enough and silly enough to be able to blend in with them. but sometimes I wonder how it looks to outside observers. does it look like someone's mom is hanging around her daughter and her friends? is that creepy? I don't want to be alone at school but I don't want to be creepy. sigh.
about the title to this entry... I actually said that. out loud. at work. like that would ever happen. once again I was defending my hero's statement that he is indeed a virgin and my friend Suzannah implied (jokingly) that I was some sort of cougar. nooo. I simply believe what Timmy said. I am going to get a shirt printed that says I believe you, Timmy!

the right to arm bears and write vampire fiction

I find that I am up against a community of writers( not all but some) who insist that the vampire genre is dead. no humor meant there. I find that opinion difficult to buy especially when they back up their argument with an article written in EW. let's face it, that's not exactly a beacon of knowledge and erudition. no offense but it is what it is. just like my novel will never be confused or taken as literature. it is what it is, entertainment. the author may be but it is just his opinion.
authors have been telling vampire tales for hundreds of years and will continue to do so for hundreds more. I'm not saying this because I am writing a vampire novel. I am saying it because it is true. the stories might not be as in your face as they currently are but they will continue. people love them and these readers are loyal to them. it is necessary that the stories move past what is out there now though. I think my novel does that. I think at the end of the day my novel is a love story and a story of personal growth with some vampires and hot sex thrown in.just like in real life. the obstacles and situations are different but when you strip it down, there you go. a man wants a companion to love who is not crazy or in love with someone else. yes he is wealthy but money doesn't buy happiness. also, family relationships complicate everyday life. it might not be a family like humans know but to a vampire in my character's world, their line and Primigenio or father is their family. you might not like them but you depend on them and need them. finally, sometimes life hands you other undertakings like governing. not exactly running for office but more like the founding of a nation.
my mc is flawed. he is pompous, used to always getting what he wants, enormously powerful, unused to change and uncomfortable showing human emotion because he sees it as a weakness. he doesn't deny that he experiences these feelings. he just doesn't want to let others know it and that is one of the things he has to get past in order to be happy. what a tough journey, even for a human. does he mope and waller in angst? no. does he regret that he is a vampire? HELL NO. he loves it. has he done questionable things in his past? you betcha and would probably do them again if the need arose but he does seem to have some sense of right and wrong.
well, I guess I'm done with my rant. I hate having to defend my genre and work but I'll defend it to the mat just like I would my daughter. what mama bear wouldn't?

A 1945 Code of Ethics for Theatre Workers Surfaces

A 1945 Code of Ethics for Theatre Workers Surfaces

now that you've had time for it to seep in

so the other night I posted pics of what I imagine some of my female characters look like. I think I am pretty spot on. I have already said who I imagined as Sidney while I was writing. oddly enough, I must have been super in tune with him because way back when I started writing and named my main character, I had no way of knowing that one of my inspiration's middle names IS Sidney. freaky, no?I wish I could figure out a way to do a mock up book cover for it Prim. I have it posted on Authonomy right now and have gotten some fantastic feedback for it so I know I am on the right track.
I have also read some incredible books on the site. even if you aren't a writer you should check out this site because there are tons of gems there. I wish they all could be published in some form because they need to be read!!

How I see my characters in Primigenio--Marta, Colette and Lauryl respectively

mc lovin and julia child

today I saw julie & julia and I highly recommend it!I loved it. I didn't know julia child was so much fun. I promptly came home and ordered a copy of mastering the art of french cooking. I love to cook and find it very satisfying. I wish I could eat what I cook though. I, like julia, love to eat.I don't love junk food. I love food food.
this movie even though it had literary tie ins too my mind off of my own ms problems. that in itself made the movie number one in my book. in the back of my mind I am obsessing. blargh!!!
oh hey today I got my grade for summer b. A in arh 2050. woot! sad thing was that it didn't boost my lagging gpa up very much. that was a f-ing gip.

the evil that is benadryl

last night I had to take 25 of benadryl for my restless legs and today I am a zombie. and not the cool kind. the kind that goes to Publix and forgets her atm card. at least being in my zombie state prevents me from obsessing about the status of my manuscript with the agent. today I am focusing on getting my entries ready for several RWA contests. that seems to keep my mind off of it believe it or not. I am actually quite excited about entering these contests because it lets me get my work out there and my score sheets will give me even more feedback.

and now just befrickincause...

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

orale! me and my crazy lusty thoughts

without the aid of coronitas, I have been feeling the lust for los latinos. dunno why, but it's true. I think I am already settling into my crazy old lady status and my hormones are flying international colors. I say this because I'm sitting here watching George Lopez and thinking he's looking kinda snappy.
anywhooooo... no word yet from the agent with my full and I have just about carved another ulcer in to my stomach lining. yeah, it's nice. but I remain optimistic despite getting two more no thank yous.
sigh...